All Vibe and No Sleep Makes Cisco a Dull Boy
by UnintendedTrustFall
Summary: Cisco hasn't been able to sleep much in weeks. But you bet your ass he can Vibe. It just so happens that it usually happens when he's trying to sleep. Caitlin tries to help him.
1. Chapter 1

"What's up?"

Caitlin was ready to tell Cisco all about how she'd just been woken up by a giant flash of blue light. How it looked vaguely meta human related. She'd been terrified when she saw it and Cisco was the first person she thought to call, but glancing at the clock which read 4:36 AM, she instead said:

"Why aren't you sleeping?"

He hesitated, and then countered, "I could ask you the same thing, so, what's up?"

She was quiet for a few seconds. Of course she wanted to talk to him about the mysterious blue light but Cisco had been looking terrible for almost three weeks now. And now she may have gotten a confirmation as to why.

"I woke up to a weird bright light I wanted to tell you about, but... what're you doing up?"

"I... woke up when you called me."

"Cisco, I'm a doctor. I know the difference between the voice of someone who just woke up and someone whose been awake for a while. Besides, you answered immediately, there's no way you were sleeping."

He was quiet again. The silences were getting uncomfortable.

Caitlin glanced at the clock again and then said, "I'm coming over."

"Wh-? Caitlin, you don't-"

She hung up.

He opened the door for her and she hated how exhausted and sick he looked.

"God, you look terrible." She said, passing by him.

He rolled his eyes with an intentionally plastered on smile, "Good to see you too, Cait."

He shut the door and turned back to see Caitlin glaring at his blaring TV.

"Why the hell are you watching Supernatural right now?! You should be sleeping, Cisco!"

He flushed, a little embarrassed and combed a nervous hand through his hair.

"I, uh... I can't."

Caitlin stared back at him as he fidgeted nervously.

"You'll never sleep if you're just watching TV this loud and-"

"No, no... it's not... it's not that. I... I've been having trouble falling asleep and, uh... I'd been trying to fall asleep since 9 o' clock and it was just... just a no go, basically, so I figured I'd just do my laundry and get to work early today."

Caitlin frowned at him, noticing how pale he looked. How shadowed his eyes were. How awkwardly he was moving. Slow and disconnected.

"Why didn't you tell me? I could-"

"What? Give me advice on how to fall asleep easier? I'm not a kid, Cait, I went to my doctor. But nothing's been working. I mean, I _do_ sleep-"

"How much?"

Cisco turned away, unable to face her, "I don't know, like... I got five hours a few days ago... and last night was around... three... tonight is closer to... none."

"Jesus, Cisco!"

Caitlin guided him toward the couch. Irritated, he ripped his arm away, but he sat down. She felt his forehead, had him track her finger with his eyes, she took his pulse...

"Cisco, you gotta be honest with me right now, alright?" She said, sitting across from him, looking worried.

"Alright, alright, what'd you wanna know?"

"Have you been hallucinating?"

Cisco hesitated.

"Yeah, a little."

"Any panic attacks?"

"... just one or two..."

"How bad is your anxiety?"

"C'mon, Cait! Look, yes, I'm not sleeping much, it's not like I really have a choice in that!"

"What happens when you try to fall asleep? Do you have nightmares or are you too wired or...?"

"I... I keep having to stop myself from Vibing because it's just hurting my head and stopping me from sleeping..."

"You're Vibing?"

"Yeah, and I can't figure out why, I'm just... they keep happening."

Caitlin felt a cold rush of fear grip her heart.

Two times they'd nearly lost Cisco to his powers. Once with the ruptured timeline when she had to watch him seizing, blood gushing out of his nose as she tried to stop it. A second time when he'd Vibed into an adjacent dimension trying to make contact with Barry, but he stayed there too long, and it almost killed him.

"What are you Vibing about?" She whispered, her voice near breaking.

He sighed, feeling her broken voice eat at him.

"I don't know, exactly. There's like... I see Reverb, and he's staring right at me... and that's all I get. It just disappears and... and I'm just staring at my ceiling again."

 _*I'll have the next chapter up soon, I hope_


	2. Chapter 2

* _This chapter is shorter than I wanted it to be but I'm almost done the next chapter, so hang on for me, lovelies._

* * *

Caitlin had insisted that Cisco take a sick day while she tried to figure out a way to stop him from Vibing. With the ruptured timeline, all they'd had to do was fix it in order to prevent Cisco from Vibing himself to death. But now, there was nothing to fix. No cause Caitlin could see. Yet. She was determined to find out why this was happening to Cisco and how to stop it.

She had been going over the collected vibrational data they had since discovering Cisco's powers but was getting nowhere. She needed Wells.

"Godammit..." she whispered to herself, slamming the journal shut.

"Nothing in there to save your precious, _Francisco_?" A low, monotone drawled.

Caitlin jumped, turning towards the voice to find Cisco laughing at her. Still looking terrible, she might add.

"Jesus Christ, Cisco! You scared- why are you here?! You're supposed to be in bed!"

Cisco smirked, raising his hands in a mocking defeat, "I can't sleep so what's the point, right?"

Caitlin shook her head, sitting down at the lab table. "No. Not right! Resting is still better than coming to work!"

She surveyed him for the millionth time this month.

Pale? Check. Permanent looking eye bags? Check. Looking tense as all hell? Double check.

"Will you at least sit down for me?!" She scowled at him as smirked at her, taking a seat across from her, "You have to be exhausted."

"Yeah, well... I mastered this in college. Or high school...? Not sure, whichever it was I slept like four hours a night during the week!"

"And on the weekend?"

Cisco paused. _Fuck._ Shehad him there.

"Okay, an extra six hours on the weekend nights but, hey! This is work! This is advanced college!"

Caitlin rolled her eyes, dropping her head down into her crossed arms.

"Caitlin... c'mon." Cisco taunted, prodding her gently, "Look, I'm sorry, okay? If I could sleep for you, I would. But-"

Caitlin's head snapped up and she said, "Just lie down at least! Rest! Stop moving so much!"

Cisco's smile faltered despite his best efforts to retrieve it. He flattened his shaking hands on the tabletop, trying to stop their movement. But he failed. They'd been shaking this whole time. So were his knees. His whole body quaked.

"... unless you can't?" Caitlin said slowly, putting it together.

He raised his hands, again admitting defeat. His trembling hands caught her eye this time though. They weren't just trembling. The tips of his fingers were nearly pressed together over his palm and then they'd spread apart.

"What do your hands feel like?"

Cisco stared at her incredulously.

"My _hands_?"

"Yeah, what do they feel like?"

"Like they're shaking too much? I don't know... what'd you-"

"Is it numb shaking or is it pent up energy?"

"Of course it's energy, Cait. There's no motion without it..." Cisco mumbled, a little matter of factly.

Caitlin took his hand into hers, watching his fingers spread apart.

"Hey! What're you-"

A shimmering field of energy phased out of his eagle spread finger tips, and then disappeared as his hand closed again.

Caitlin raised his trembling hand up to his eye level to point out the fields. Cisco gasped and shoved his hand down onto the tabletop again.

"That's like... that's like that time you sent Black Canary flying! This is a power-"

"No!" Cisco picked his hands up, tucking them behind his back, standing up, "Its nothing, okay? It's nothing..." he edged out of the room and muttered, "I gotta go... actually..."

She watched as he slipped out of the lab.


	3. Chapter 3

Cisco had been staring at the ceiling for almost two hours now. He felt like shit. He knew that Caitlin was right and he needed to sleep. But he just couldn't.

 _Maybe if I try to Vibe... it'll come as a dream_.

That would have to do.

Cisco closed his eyes. Focusing in on the Vibe that had been taunting him for weeks. Reverb.

He saw him.

Staring him directly in the eye looking grave and terrifying. And exactly like him. Having an evil doppelgänger was way too cartoony in Cisco's opinion. How about some originality, Earth 2?

"You don't need them." Reverb drawled in a low voice, staring directly into Cisco's eyes, "You're getting more powerful every day."

Okay. That was enough with the Reverb pep talk. This was getting too creepy for Cisco's liking. But he realized... he was sleeping. And that was better than losing his mind to sleep deprivation.

Reverb raised his hand, pointing it directly at Cisco. And as if anticipating it, Cisco simultaneously raised his own hand. A field of energy burst from Reverb's fingertips shooting directly at Cisco. Cisco turned to run when he saw Reverb... shatter?

His stomach went cold. _No. No, no, no. This is not good..._

Cisco approached the spot where Reverb had been standing, and realized this was his bathroom mirror.

Cisco looked down at his own hand and saw the residual energy pulsing from his fingers.

"You knew this was going to happen, didn't you Cisco?" The voice drawled.

Cisco looked down at the shattered bits of glass and said, his own voice a dull monotone,

"Well, I've see Fight Club..." he watched Reverb's mouth making his words, "Although this is more like that Evil Dead 2 scene, isn't it?"

"Listen to yourself, Cisco." Cisco focused in on his own voice, closing turning away from the shattered mirror, hearing his own monotone say, "I'm becoming like Reverb."

Cisco sat bolt upright, gasping for air. He scrubbed at his tired face and tried to dismiss what he'd just seen. What he'd known all along.

* * *

Caitlin's phone was ringing. At 5 AM. She was about to throw her phone at the wall until the time clicked. It was Cisco.

"Cisco?"

"Cait!"

He was breathing loudly. And fast. Way too fast. And Caitlin could hear him pacing around his apartment.

"Cisco, calm down. Okay? What's going on?"

His breaths were shallow, and the exhales came whistling out of his nostrils.

"Cisco? C'mon, breathe, okay? Just breathe."

His breathing was quick and shallow. Caitlin got up and grabbed her keys.

"Cisco, I'm coming over. Just try and breathe. Okay?"

She was heading out of her apartment building. Down the sidewalk. Towards the subway.

Phone still pressed to her ear she was saying, "Just take a deep breath... hold is for seven seconds... breathe it out for eight. You hearing me?"

"C-Caitlin..." he choked between breaths, "I can't..."

"Cisco!" She said firmly, clutching onto a rail on the subway, "In for four seconds... hold for seven seconds... out for eight, okay? I'm almost there..."

* * *

It only took six more minutes for Caitlin to hop off the subway and make her way to Cisco's building.

Banging on his door she yelled, "Cisco!"

It took longer than she would've liked but he opened the door for her. He was breathing normally now but she could tell just by looking at him- he was in shock.

"Cisco?" She whispered, touching his shoulder.

He stared at her, panic painted across his face and didn't respond.

She took him to the couch, but unlike last time he just followed without objection. She glanced around his living room and then headed into his bedroom. She pulled the comforter off his bed and brought it to him, wrapping it around his shaking body.

"Hey. Cisco? You're okay, okay? Just take some deep breaths-"

"I'm turning into him." Cisco croaked.

All tone had been stripped of his voice when he said it.

Caitlin pulled the comforter tighter around him and said gently, "Turning into who?"

He clutched at the comforter, looking anywhere but at Caitlin.

"I figured it out... I kept... Vibing about Reverb... because I'm turning into him."

Caitlin shook her head, trying to smile at the thought. But she had to admit, his Vibes hadn't been wrong before.

"Cisco, of course you're not turning into-"

Cisco stood up, throwing off the comforter, "And of course you know that for certain, don't you, Caitlin?"

The sudden change in his voice caught her off guard. She opened her mouth to respond but he cut her off instantly.

"Obviously, you're the doctor. You're the one with all the answers, right? You're the one who doesn't have crazy visions all night and day that tell you who exactly you're going to be? Who you already are? Of course I'm not becoming Reverb. It's not like I can create violent fields of vibrational energy just by spreading my fingers. It's not like I can feel the vibrational frequency of every living soul in this city, or like I could easily increase those frequencies to the point that their cells tear themselves apart... right?"

Caitlin was staring at Cisco. But it didn't look like him right now.

His arrogant smirked disappeared as he gasped, stumbling forward, holding his head.

Caitlin was up and spotting him in a second.

"Cisco?!"

"Auugh!" He squeezed his eyes shut, pressing his head into his palm.

His knees were shaking. Weakening.

"Cisco, sit back down-"

He took a step forward and his knees gave.

Caitlin caught him under the arms. She dragged him back to the couch and set him down on it. She made sure he was spread comfortably across it and then threw the comforter over him.

He stirred, clutching the comforter around himself again. He croaked, "I'm... sorry..."

Caitlin felt tears reach her eyes. She did her best to hold them back, forcing a smile on for him. She crouched down next to his face, brushing his hair behind his ear.

"It's okay, Cisco..."

She bent forward and kissed his temple.

"I'm so... fucking... tired."

And he finally slipped away from consciousness. For now.


	4. Chapter 4

* Some vague spoilers from season 3, only up to 3x04.

* * *

" _I'll shatter your entire nervous system without breaking a sweat."_

It wasn't just the certainty and cruelty of Reverb's voice that ate at Cisco as he slept. It was the knowledge that he could do the same thing. He had the ability to shatter someone's nervous system. He could do that. Obviously the awareness of this ability terrified Cisco. But also impressed him.

If you were told with near scientifically theoretical certainty that you could _shatter someone's nervous system_ , wouldn't you be tempted to try it? Not even necessarily that you want to hurt anyone. But knowing you have that power, how could you not be tempted to test it?

Cisco's mind's eye flicked through the few moments he spent with Reverb. He was second only to Zoom himself. Reverb had people who answered to him. And, of course... while he was alive... Reverb still had his brother.

" _You don't even know how powerful you are..."_

How powerful is that? Powerful enough to test the vibrational frequency of the dead versus the living? And determine how to bring back the dead? Or how to Vibe himself back through the timeline to when Dante was alive so that he could save him?

"CISCO!"

He turned his head and with an almost painful jolt to his heart, he saw he wasn't asleep. He was in S.T.A.R. Labs. And Barry was yelling to him.

Hm?" Cisco said, turning to focus on Barry, "Sorry, I was, uh... thinking about something else."

Barry opened his mouth to respond and then closed it. He turned back to his tablet and said,

"These blue lights are popping up everywhere, man, and people are starting to think it's Zoom related." Barry crossed the room to monitors where Cisco was sitting and said, "I mean, we know it's not him but... it's gotta be something, right?"

Cisco pushed his hair back out of his face, trying to wake up and not lose time again.

"W- yeah. Totally. I just... I don't know, man, we don't even know that this thing is bad yet, whatever it is. Is this really our ballpark yet or..." Cisco turned, smirking at Barry, "Maybe this is a CCPD meta human task force type deal! You'll get to listen to Julian telling you how wrong you are..."

Barry groaned, smirking at the thought.

"No... no way in hell is Julian gonna figure this out before me." Barry grabbed his jacket, "I'll see you tomorrow, Cisco."

And with a gust of wind sending Cisco's hair and papers flying, he was gone.

* * *

"Okay, okay, okay..." Cisco took deep breaths, jumping up and down, hyping himself up, "Just concentrate on... fuck... no... okay..."

 _I Vibed through a dimension to find Barry when he was trapped in the Speed Force. And I could take Iris with me. But... I wasn't really there, I guess. It was more of an ethereal type-_

"Cisco?!"

That was Caitlin. But she'd left to see her mom hours ago... hadn't she?

"What're you doing here so early?! It's six in the morning!"

Shit.

"You're not sleeping again, aren't you?!"

Swallowing is very difficult when your mouth is this dry.

"I- what're _you_ doing here this early?"

"I wanted to... do some tests... not important! What're you doing here?! You need sleep, Cisco!"

"I... I can't. I keep Vibing and I don't know how to stop it. I thought if I Vibed intentionally that it'd come sorta like a dream, like it did before I knew I had powers, but... I've been... losing time." He knew she was gonna flip at that.

One... two...

"Losing time?!" There it is. "Cisco, why didn't you tell me?! This is serious! This could be a neurological condition, this could be-"

"I know! Alright?! But I was... I was scared."

Caitlin was silent for a moment, processing it.

"You said before... that you've been Vibing Reverb? And that... you were becoming him?" She said cautiously, "Is it... this fixation on turning evil that's just-"

"Just me making myself turn evil?! You mean like you're afraid that you're turning into Killer Frost?"

"Why would you think-?"

He wasn't angry. He sounded more... cold. Cruel.

"You've been acting weird. You've been seeing your mom a lot more. You've running tests on yourself. I just put two and two together and..." he stopped, realizing what he was saying and he reeled it back in, "I'm... I'm sorry, Caitlin. I've been thinking it for a while but I didn't want to bring it up until you were ready to talk about it... I just... I'm sorry."

She nodded, accepting it but she was verging on tears.

"We'll figure this out, Cisco."

And she left.


	5. Chapter 5

Aside from the terrifying Vibes that reminded Cisco that he could be exactly like Reverb, the effects of sleep deprivation were setting in. His mind was turning on him, and that was exactly what he was afraid of.

Maybe it was because he wasn't in the best place right now, but every part of Cisco's being told him to try and Vibe himself back to the night Dante was killed. How had he Vibed himself through the Speed Force to talk to Barry... He'd used a torn piece of his suit.

Okay, okay, okay... Did that work because it belonged to Barry? Or because it was ripped while he was being flung in between dimensions?

Cisco tore apart his apartment, pulling out anything and everything that reminded him of Dante. The photo of him as a kid from his fridge. The VHS tape he had from one of Dante's piano recitals when they were kids. The hoodie Cisco had stolen from him in college because it was so damn comfy, and hey, you leave your shit in the dryer too long, you lose it, alright Dante?! No. None of this seemed good enough.

He jogged to the door, determined to search his parents' house if he had to, he undid the deadbolt on his door ready to go, but then he got it. Reaching for his keys on the hook by the door, he remembered that he had Dante's keys too.

The night Dante... yeah... Cisco had been the one sent to take care of his destroyed car. He'd been the one to get Dante's car towed to the scrap yard. And Cisco had been the one to pocket Dante's keys to make sure strangers didn't have the keys to his parents' house. And now they were here.

A once painful reminder had become just a part of his now painful existence that he'd forgotten all about them.

He grabbed them off the hook and didn't even have to close his eyes to start Vibing. He was so deadset on doing this that his mind just went to work.

The far too familiar blue luminescence surrounded him as he directed his thoughts toward Dante. More specifically, toward the night Dante had died.

* * *

Caitlin knew that she should calm down. Trust Cisco that he wasn't going to do anything stupid. Trust that he was going to try and get some sleep tonight. But she didn't. She knew him too well.

She tried to dismiss her fears and turn herself around. But she was already outside his building. It seemed stupid to not check in on him now.

* * *

He saw him. Pushing himself forward he reached out for Dante's car door. It was at a red light. The one he died at.

"DANTE!"

Dante- thank god- turned toward his voice but he just froze, staring at him in disbelief.

"Cisco?!"

Cisco didn't have time for this, he could hear the other car coming. He ripped the door open and reached inside, pulling Dante by the front of his shirt.

"Cisco?! What the fuck are you d-?!"

Cisco managed to pull him out of the car, just seconds before the other car smashed into it. Dante was on the sidewalk. Dante was alive.

Blood seeped from Cisco's nostril.

* * *

A bright blue flash lit up the street. Caitlin paused, watching the same phenomenon she'd seen last week light up Cisco's apartment building.

 _Shit. Cisco what did you do?!_

She kept going. Up the steps. Down the hallway. She was outside Cisco's door. She raised her hand to knock, and hesitated. Should she really be doing this?

Inside, Cisco gasped in what sounded like pain. That was enough for Caitlin. She started banging on the door when she felt some give. It was unlocked.

She pushed open the door and found Cisco, clutching the bookshelf by his door for support. Blood was gushing from his nose. Shit.


	6. Chapter 6

* _character death spoilers from 3x02 ahead_

* * *

"Cisco?!" Caitlin gently took his arm and guided him to his couch, "Cisco, can you hear me?!"

He blinked at nothing for a moment and then looked at her.

"What?"

"Jesus, Cisco..." she muttered, pressing the back of her hand to his forehead, and then taking his pulse, "What did you do?"

Cisco swallowed, shaking his head.

"I... I Vibed... back to Dante."

Cold panic hit Caitlin and she willed herself to push past it. Stay on target.

"You mean you dreamed about him?" She knew it was a hopeless fantasy to think that maybe he was sleeping. Maybe he hadn't actually Vibed into the past. Maybe he hadn't ruptured the timeline.

"I think, I... I think I saved him?"

Caitlin bit her lip, shaking her head at him.

"Cisco... I'm sorry, but I don't think so. I renember you calling me when he died. I remember his funeral. When... Barry changed the timeline... we didn't remember what it was like before he changed it. He made a new timeline. And when he ruptured it... you were dying."

Cisco dabbed at the blood collecting under his nose and shook his head.

"No, I don't... I can feel it, Cait. I'm okay. I didn't rupture it..." Cisco stood up and returned to his key hook. Dante's keys were still there.

"No, no, no..." Cisco sounded defeated. Broken.

He grabbed his own keys and headed out the door. Caitlin followed.

* * *

"Cisco! No, you shouldn't drive right now!" Caitlin yelled at him as he scraped his keys at the lock to the STAR labs van.

He looked at her desperately, holding up the keys.

"I need to get to Dante's grave, okay?"

She hesitated. But she knew there was no stopping him. Why let him drive, emotionally wrecked, and mentally drained when she could just take him there.

"Just let me drive, okay?"

* * *

Caitlin was still checking the side mirrors to make sure she was parked against the curb completely when Cisco leapt out and started making his way toward Dante's grave.

"Screw it." She mumbled, shutting off the car and going after him.

He weaved through the headstones in a dazed kind of way. Periodically he'd stagger sideways and clutch the top of one for support before pushing himself forward. Caitlin jogged up to catch up with him to make sure he didn't hit his head, but she knew she shouldn't talk to him just yet.

Reaching Dante's grave, Cisco shattered.

All the tears he'd been repressing for weeks... months? Were coming out now. He fell to his knees, shaking with desperate sobs.

Caitlin sunk down next to him and wrapped a cautious arm around his shoulders. He accepted it, and continued to sob.

"I thought I saved him." Cisco finally choked, as he caught his breath, "I saw it happen... I pulled him out of the car! What did I do wrong?!"

"You didn't do anything wrong, Cisco." Caitlin said softly, wrapping her other arm around his chest, "It just... didn't work."

Cisco leaned his head into Caitlin's shoulder, and broke down for a while more.

* * *

Cisco had been reviewing Reverb's case file for hours. This had been the first time he'd come to work in three days, so Barry and Caitlin allowed him his space.

He was reading something and stopped suddenly.

"His brother's name was Rupture."

Barry and Caitlin looked up.

"What?" Barry wandered over a little closer, "You mean Reverb's brother?"

"Yeah," Cisco said, shaking the sheet of paper excitedly, "Its Dante. Earth 2's Dante! His name was Rupture. He had that scythe that like... gave off energy... and it looked a lot like the shit that happens when I Vibe, and maybe that's how he got through to Earth 2. Maybe him and Reverb can both open up breaches, and I mean..." Cisco ran a twitching hand through his hair and looked at Caitlin with a twisted kind of smile, "I gotta rupture the timeline."


	7. Chapter 7

Spoiler of character death mentioned in 3x02

* * *

"Cisco, don't-!"

Cisco reached in his jacket pocket, pulling out Dante's keys. He closed his eyes and felt the vibrational energy of Dante's past timelines flowing through him.

Holding up one of his hands, he felt as he opened up a breach into the night Dante died. Now he could be there for real.

The metallic looking energy shimmered around him as he passed through the breach. Caitlin's fingertips grasped at the air just as the breach closed up, taking Cisco back.

Cisco blinked. Practically empty street. Dante was pulling up to a red light... in that lame ass 2004 Accord that he was so proud of. Probably because it was his first and only car but damn, Dante, I know money's tight but that car looks like the vehicle embodiment of a high school teacher with really low self esteem.

 _Okay, focus up on the task at hand, Cisco._

He ran up to the passenger side window, banging on it urgently.

Dante jumped and turned at him,

"Cisco?! What are-"

Cisco pulled at the door handle and realized that's what his Vibe had gotten wrong. Car doors lock when you're driving.

"Unlock the door! Hurry!"

Dante stared at him in disbelief but hit the unlock button.

Cisco heard the drunk driver getting dangerously close. But he had to risk it.

Yanking open the passenger's side door, he reached in and grabbed Dante's shirt.

"Dante, get out!"

"What the fuck are you-" headlights lit up the interior of the car.

Dante turned back and saw the car coming at him. And in a miraculous maneuver, Dante threw himself out of the passenger door, taking Cisco with him.

The drunk driver's car smashed into the Accord, and Dante scrambled to his feet, dragging Cisco out of the way.

"How did you-?!" Dante began, panting, and then he said, "Did you Vibe me...?"

"I... yeah."

"Cisco, are you okay?!" Dante said suddenly, gripping Cisco's shoulder, "You're nose is bleeding."

 _Shit. Shit, shit, shit._

He wiped the blood from under his nose, but it was a futile task. His nose just gushed more blood.

"No, I'm... I'm fine. It's just this dry ass air or something." Cisco muttered, dismissing it.

Dante stared at him. He clearly didn't believe him. But staring back at him, Cisco didn't care. He threw his arms around Dante, holding him tight.

* * *

He hung around long enough for Dante to get home and for past Cisco to get the memo and act accordingly to this perfect, newly situated timeline.

 _Ruptured_ timeline.

Cisco opened up another breach, thinking of STAR labs. Focusing on Caitlin. Focusing on her voice when she yelled after him, "Cisco, don't-!"

He passed through it... and collapsed to his knees.

"Cisco!" Caitlin dropped down next to him in a second, "Cisco, how could you do that?! You know what will happen if you leave the timeline like this!"

"Godammit, no... no, no, no..." Barry was pacing, shaking his head.

Cisco felt sick. His head felt like it was imploding. He was getting lightheaded from all the blood loss. If he wasn't about to drop a few hours ago because of the severe sleep derivation, he was ready to now.

"I don't... I gotta... see him." Cisco croaked.

He spit out blood that was pouring down from his nose and into his mouth.

"Barry! You gotta go back, you gotta stop Cisco from-"

"No!" Cisco yelled at her, pulling away from her supportive hands.

He swayed dangerously, falling weakly against the legs of one of the desks. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and said,

"Just... let me call him first... please?" His voice was weak, verging on breaking.

Caitlin looked back at Barry who just nodded numbly, looking like he might break down.

Cisco dialed Dante's number. And pressed the phone to his ear. It rang twice. And then-

" _Cisco_?"

Cisco's breath caught in his throat. He focused on not crying. Tried to force his voice to sound as normal as possible. And Dante sensed how distraught he was. Or heard it in his breathing at the very least and he said,

" _Cisco, what's going on, man? Where are you_?"

Cisco breathed. His voice was on the verge of breaking but he kept it level long enough to say,

"Hey. I... uh. I just... I've really missed you, man, and... and I know we've had our shit over the years but... you just... you amaze the hell out of me. And I just... I love you." His voice broke there.

He was crying. Quietly, steadily, but still crying.

" _Hey_ ," Dante began, softly, " _Cisco... I love you too, okay? Look, is something going on with you? You sound weird._ "

Cisco gave a tearful kind of laugh.

"I'm okay. It's... don't worry about it, okay? Just... weird day." Cisco sucked in another deep breath.

" _Cisco, are you sure you're okay? I said I'd call mom after this audition... but, do you need me to come by?_ "

"No! No, it's uh... it's okay, really. Just a really weird day, don't worry about it, I'll uh-"

" _Tell me about it sometime, okay? I'll talk to you again later, I gotta go_."

The line beeped. Dante had hung up.

Cisco breathed out a long, shuddering breath. And then his inhale got caught.

His limbs tensed up and his body shook with tremors he had no control over. His mind was wandering away as he choked and seized.

"Cisco!" Caitlin stood up, running for her medical cabinet, "Barry! You gotta-"

"I know." His voice sort of choked. Like he was about to cry.

He disappeared, wind knocking papers off the desks as he left.

* * *

Cisco took a sharp inhale. His eyes fluttered open. Turning his head around the room, he found Caitlin curled up in an armchair a few feet away from him.

She was asleep, but it was clear just by looking at her that she'd been waiting for him. Cisco reached into his jacket pocket and felt Dante's keys there.

Dante was dead.


	8. Chapter 8

*Sorry for the wait and the short chapter but I'll update soon.

* * *

The morning passed by slower than Cisco thought possible. Apparently Barry had gone back and stopped Cisco from doing what he did. Of course, he could time travel if it meant fucking up Cisco's life more.

That might be unfair, but seriously. A little over a month back in time somehow would have the same consequences of going back like fifteen years? Time travel was dangerous if it meant saving Dante. But if it was Barry's mother who died over a decade ago? That was worth going back for. Forget that that action likely ruptured the original timeline and killed Cisco, never mind that distinct possibility...

Cisco had gotten out of bed a lot earlier than Caitlin advised but he couldn't stay there. Not when he felt the emptiness of Dante's loss all over again. And the knowledge that once again, Barry hadn't let Dante be saved, only fueled the fire burning inside Cisco.

He stormed across the parking lot, allowing the rage to flow through him. Given what he'd been doing over the past two weeks, this rage should've scared him. But any fear he had was being channeled into the energy that was surging through his body. He felt it crackling like electricity at his fingertips, and a wave of vibrational energy busted into the asphalt.

Cisco hadn't meant it, exactly. But he couldn't control it. Not now.

A twisted up weed peeked into view from between the cracks in the parking lot that Cisco had just made. A cockroach crawled up its stem, settling on the rubble.

It trembled.

Rage tore through Cisco's body. He wasn't even sad anymore about Dante dying, he was seething. They might not have gotten along all the time, but Dante was his brother, godammit.

The roach was squealing.

And one cannot be expected to just get over the death of a brother- someone who's supposed to die within a few years of you- in a few weeks. It's not the same as losing your mother over ten years ago, because at least you anticipated her leaving you first- This was terrible. Cisco didn't recognize himself right now.

The roach imploded.

With a shockingly audible crunch, it seemed that every part of the roach broke at once. _Shattered_.

Cisco gasped, realizing what he'd done.

He unclenched his fist and kept moving towards the subway.

He felt like he was sweating... he _was_ sweating. And breathing shallowly. And every part of him that suggested he just go the fuck to sleep was being combatted by the ripple of energy that ran through him. He was shaking.

He gripped the rail on the subway and bent his head forward, ignoring the migraine building inside it. He knew how he must look: gripping the rail desperately, coated in sweat, swaying... and yeah... yup. Another nosebleed. What the fuck he hadn't even Vibed in-

The cockroach.

 _I will shatter your nervous system without breaking a sweat._

"Son?"

Cisco turned towards the sudden voice and saw an older man he didn't know watching him.

"Sit down, alright? You don't look so good..."

Cisco blinked at him for a moment and then processed what he'd said.

"I, uh... no, I'm good... thanks. My stop's next."

It wasn't exactly true, but he could walk from the next stop and the rattling of the train was making him nauseous anyway. He got off at the next stop and started down the sidewalk.

His phone was ringing. It hurt. The sound was like an ice pick in his brain. He picked up, if for no other reason than to shut his phone up. But immediately he wished he hadn't.

"CISCO! What are you thinking?! You've barely slept in weeks, you just had a seizure, you-" Caitlin was right but he wished she'd be right quieter.

"Cait..." he was shocked at how his voice slurred into the phone, "I'm fine... I... I'm not... actually..."

"I know you're not, and-" Caitlin trailed off, she seemed to catch herself shouting at him and her voice softened tremendously, "Where are you? I need to... to do another evaluation before you go to sleep..."

Cisco looked up and saw he'd arrived at his building a hell of a lot quicker than he ever should have while walking. He turned back and saw a shimmering breach that he'd clearly, unknowingly created.

"Oh, shit..."

Blood poured from his nose as he staggered inside.


	9. Chapter 9

Caitlin felt her heart pounding in her chest as she made her way back to Cisco's. She'd been at his apartment before, but never as often as she'd been there in the past month. He was sick. That was obvious but it worried her that she couldn't find a cause aside from his own powers and grief working against him.

She stopped at the landing she'd reached and knocked on the door to her left. It didn't take long for him to open the door for her but once she saw him she wished he never would've left STAR labs that day.

"Oh, god... Cisco..."

"I know." Was all he could offer her. Sitting back down on his sofa, he held his head in his hands.

He was covered in sweat and shaking. But more frightening was the amount of blood underneath his nose and stained all over his shirt. He had a bloody wad of toilet paper balled up in his hand, but he didn't seem to care about protecting his shirt from the blood anymore.

Caitlin crouched down in front of him at the couch and took his pulse. Too fucking fast. She felt his forehead with the back of her hand, then felt the back of his neck. Too fucking hot.

"Raise your arms for me, please?" She instructed.

His arms raised evenly, a little shaky but both functional.

"Try and smile?"

He scoffed at that one but made the effort. The corners of his mouth twitched, but he couldn't smile. Caitlin felt her heart drop.

"Is that... as far as you can get it?"

Cisco nodded and then dropped his head back in hands, "What is wrong with me?"

"You're just... you'll be okay. Okay?"

Caitlin got up and crossed the room into the kitchen. She grabbed a few squares of paper towels and soaked them under the cold faucet. She wrung them out and returned to Cisco.

"Lie down, alright?" She whispered and he complied.

She laid the folded paper towels across his forehead and tugged the throw blanket off of the back of the couch, throwing it over him. She settled herself on the recliner across from him.

* * *

She hadn't meant to fall asleep, but she had and when she woke up, her heart skipped a beat. There was a shimmering, blue breach in the middle of Cisco's living room. Standing up to check if maybe he was still in the apartment, Caitlin realized there was more than one.

There was another one, a smaller one in his kitchen. And one down, stories below on the street outside his window. He was opening up breaches all over Central City. _Oh, fuck._

Caitlin searched the apartment in vain, following the little splatters of blood all over the rooms.

"Cisco?!"

"Vibe." A deep voice she barely recognized corrected her.

Turning around she watched Cisco step out of the breach in the kitchen. His eyes were dead. Emotionless. And his nose wasn't bleeding anymore but there was crusted blood covering his face from the upper lip, down.

He looked pale and sweaty, but also as though it didn't matter to him. And that terrified her.

"You... what're you doing with all these breaches?" She sounded nervous, and she wanted to tell herself she was just scared for Cisco. And not of what he might do. Or might have already done.

"I'm adjusting this world, Caitlin. Setting certain events into motion. Changing events..."

"Cisco, if you rupture the timeline, you'll die!"

"What does it matter? I could've died when Barry locked up Eobard Thawne-"

"But he took him back! You didn't die-"

"How about when he went back and stopped his mom from dying, huh? When he created Flashpoint?"

Caitlin was silent. The entire concept of Flashpoint made total, theoretical sense. But knowing that there was a different her from a timeline where Barry traveled back to save his mother was unfathomable. In that first timeline that Barry had left from to save his mother, Cisco would've died. Barry said he'd lived with his mother alive for a few weeks- maybe months? And Cisco had nearly died from a ruptured timeline in a day before.

"Barry doesn't care! Kill my brother?! Kill me?! It doesn't matter to him, so why should it matter to me?!" He was gushing blood again, "So I die, so what?! Maybe if it happens in a timeline he sticks around in, he'll see what he's doing to- oh, shit..." he fell to his knees.

"Cisco!"

"What do I have...?" Cisco mumbled, struggling to stay on his knees.

Caitlin took his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her.

"Me! Please, Cisco... you have all of us... okay? Barry does care... he just... he doesn't think about what he's doing-"

"HE GOT MY BROTHER KILLED!"

"I know! ... I know. But as difficult as it is to see it... when he..." Caitlin blinked back tears, "He does care... and your parents care. And Joe... and Iris and Wally... and me. I can't... I can't live without you, Cisco! You told me... when I lost Ronnie that I still had people left to live for... and I know, you are your brother were just starting to get close again, but... we need you. _I_ need you."

Cisco laughed, blood dribbling over the side of his lip.

"You don't need me. There's plenty of other engineers who-"

"No. I don't need an engineer, Cisco, I need _you_." She hesitated, tears in her eyes, verging on falling, "You're important to me. You're my best friend... but you're... you're more than that. I've had coworkers, I've had friends, I've dated... but I found new ones. Ronnie, Jay, Eliza, Dr. Wells... I've been close with them and I've lost them but I was always... okay. But you... you're different. You're someone I can't ever replace. You're someone I can't live without."


	10. Chapter 10

*more Killervibe coming after this chapter. More to come

* * *

"What am I doing?" Cisco's voice was weak, but he sounded like himself again.

He reached out for Caitlin's arms and tried to leverage himself up. She realized what he was doing and stood, taking half his weight from him. But still, she hesitated.

"Where are you going?!"

He nodded over toward the shimmering breach in the living room.

"I gotta go back... fix what I... uh..." he gave as much a smirk as he could manage, "fixed."

Caitlin followed him toward the breach, "Cisco, wait, you're-!"

He disappeared into the portal and she stared into the dimensional rip. She felt the warning she didn't want to believe slip out of her mouth,

"You're dying."

* * *

Cisco opened up breach after breach. Reversing things he'd done in his weird power trip so that the timeline would realign the way it was... to the best of his ability.

He felt terrible. And each breach he opened or closed he was afraid he might collapse. Start seizing. But he needed to fix what he'd broken. Even if that meant taking Dante from him again.

He stopped himself from protecting Reverb.

From protecting Rupture.

From stopping Barry on the night he created Flashpoint.

With every timeline repair, he felt less like his head was being crushed. And a brilliant, blue burst of light exploded around his closing breaches. Knowing now, that the blue lights that had been spotted all over Central City over the past month had been caused by him, was a little anticlimactic, to say the least.

But it was also chilling to know that he could not only see every possible timeline, but he could change them. And it was so easy. He wondered vaguely if his actions would have the same consequences Barry's did. Or if it was possible that going back to stop yourself from altering the timeline was actually returning the timeline to its original state.

The thought of this was too painful to linger on and Cisco already felt like he might throw up blood and pass out, so he filed that theory away for now.

But he was definitely exhausted. Maybe not dying, but drained. He counted off all the timelines he'd altered and had to repair in his head. That had to be all of them, right? He'd be dying if there was anything left...

He burst through the last breach, back inside his apartment, and closed it. He made a step towards Caitlin, and collapsed.

* * *

Caitlin was on her knees, holding Cisco's upper body close to her. He wasn't conscious, but he had a pulse. He was breathing. Hell, he even looked relaxed for the first time in months.

Caitlin gently stood herself up and attempted to lift Cisco with her. But he was deadweight in her arms.

Not wanting to risk waking Cisco, who was finally getting the kind of peaceful rest he needed, Caitlin texted Barry:

 _Cisco's passed out in his apartment, he's okay but, help me get him to his bed?_

It only took a minute or so and Caitlin heard the unmistakable whoosh of Barry arriving outside Cisco's door. Caitlin slowly settled Cisco onto the floor and got up to let Barry in.

He gave her a slight nod and headed toward Cisco immediately. He crouched down next to him and lifted him up.

Caitlin pulled the comforter over Cisco as Barry settled him into his bed. Barry gave Caitlin a little smile and went to wait for her in the kitchen. Turning back to Cisco, Caitlin smiled at him. She kissed his forehead lightly and headed to the kitchen.

"Do you think he's gonna be okay?" Barry whispered, as Caitlin leaned against the fridge.

"Yeah, he's... he'll be fine."

Barry glanced back toward Cisco's bedroom and continued,

"Do you think he'll ever forgive me?"

Caitlin sighed heavily through her nose.

"I don't know, but it's hard for someone to get over something like that when the person who might be responsible isn't being responsible for it."

"But I might not be!" Barry was still whispering but as his voice raised at the end, he quickly quieted himself, "I didn't mean for anything to happen to Dante...

"That doesn't change the fact that something did happen. And whether you caused it or not, it happened, and Cisco's hurting." Caitlin eyed Barry doubtfully and said, "Have you asked him how he's doing? Or tried to see what he's going through at least?"

Barry opened his mouth to respond and closed it again. He ran a nervous hand through his hair and muttered,

"There's nothing I can really do to fix this, is there?"

"You can be there for him. That's all you can really do."

* * *

Caitlin monitored Cisco from the chair in the corner of his room for a while. She checked his temperature, pulse, and breathing pattern, and then went to go wait in his living room. Lingering in the doorway, she whispered,

"You're gonna be okay, Cisco. I promise."


	11. Chapter 11

*Okay, so after that long as fuck wait I know this is disappointingly short, but I was trying to work out how to set up for where the rest of this story is going, so... sorry for the short chapter, but I'll try to update as quickly as possible. With hopefully longer, and better chapters. More to come-

* * *

Resurfacing into real, normal consciousness felt anything but as Cisco crawled upward into it.

Physically, he felt less hellish than before. The pressure in his head had eased up tremendously, and the only blood left in his nostrils was dried up residue from earlier. He was a little disoriented, but as far as he could tell, he wasn't dying. And all things considered, he felt better than he had in months.

He slid out of bed and shuffled toward the kitchen. He was halfway through getting a pot of coffee started when he heard a soft sighing from somewhere in his apartment.

He whipped around and found Caitlin, waking up on his couch. She'd slept in his apartment. She'd seen everything he'd done.

"Cisco?" Her voice was sleepy and gentle but she sat up looking cautious.

God, he'd really scared everyone, hadn't he.

"Caitlin, I... um..." he didn't know what to say to her.

He'd put everyone through so much shit over the past week. _You went through it, too_ , a voice in his head reminded him.

Caitlin was up now, and coming towards him. She was coming in. And goddamn, did he want it. Need it. He'd been so vulnerable for so long, he needed to feel safe.

 _You're more powerful than you think, Cisco._

She opened her arms to him and he embraced her. Holding each other tight, Cisco wasn't sure whether she was comforting him, or he was comforting her. But it didn't matter. She was here. Caitlin was here.

"Caitlin, _I'm_ so sorry..." he whispered into her hair. Rubbing her back. Holding her.

"No, I'm sorry." She meant about Dante.

Dante was dead. Cisco hadn't been able to save him.

Cisco separated himself from Caitlin. He sat down, hell the kitchen floor would do, and attempted to process all that had happened. Naturally, as Cisco had come to realize in the past few weeks, Caitlin sat down with him.

"Was he ever really there?" Cisco asked her, his voice remaining steady.

"Cisco... I don't... I don't know. If he was, it'd be in a different timeline... and I can't remember those, but here? ...no."

Cisco felt the gaping hole in himself where Dante should've been. He remembered the loss.

He remembered how his own abilities hadn't helped him. How the only way to really travel through time, is with speed. How Barry had refused him of that. How time travel was dangerous.

How time travel was what may have killed Dante so what would it do if he used it to get Dante back. How Barry had gone back to save someone he loved and it killed Dante. So if he went back to save someone Cisco loved, who would die then? Is this how it had to be? A life for a life?

"My powers can't help people, Cait." Cisco said, staring off into nothing, "All they do is let me see what I want to happen... but it's not... reality. Not here."

Caitlin ran a soothing hand down his shoulder, down his arm, resting overtop of his hand.

"Cisco, your powers don't define you. If they're only hurting you... maybe you don't want to use them."

Cisco had a creeping feeling this might be something Caitlin told herself. To maintain her humanity, maybe. He could use a little of that.

"Reverb could use his powers. He could open any breach... he could see any possible universe... any possible chain of events and make them his own life."

Caitlin sat up, turning towards Cisco who wouldn't look back at her.

"Cisco, no, he's not like you! He can't save people-"

"But maybe he can." Cisco said.

He stood up, ready to book it to STAR labs. But before he left, he felt his last connection to humanity begging him not to go. And he turned back and saw Caitlin, crying.

"Cisco, please, don't... you're gonna get through this without him... he's not-"

"Cait," Cisco came back to her, cupping her jaw, feeling her grounding him here to this timeline, to this universe, but he knew he couldn't stay, "I have to go."

He looked into her eyes, and leaned toward her. She leaned in, desperate to keep him here. Keep him from doing anything dangerous. Keep him here. With her.

He was kissing her. He was kissing Caitlin Snow. _If you don't leave, you could hurt her. Remember how hard you vibed her off of Barry to protect him? You need to leave before you give in. And you know that you will..._

Their lips parted. And he lingered there, an inch from her.

"Cisco, everything is gonna be okay."

He half laughed, and turned away, opening up a breach.

He wanted to stay but he knew she was wrong.

And turning back to her, he said, praying she got this last TV reference he'd make to her, "You know nothing, Caitlin Snow."

And he was gone.


	12. Chapter 12

Cisco hovered, directionless inside the breach. He needed to focus on a specific moment, a time, a place- something, in order to allow himself to get there. He knew he was looking for Reverb... even though he'd died on Earth 2. But there had to be more versions of him. Or at least a way to go back to the day Cisco and the team had arrived on Earth 2.

He wasn't sure which idea it was that was leading him, but he was being transported. And when he felt his feet hit solid ground, that low monotone spoke from behind him,

"Back so soon, _Vibe_?"

Cisco took a deep breath and forced himself to turn toward him. This was his last shot.

"What did you mean, when you said you could teach me how to use my powers?"

"Exactly what I said. Now," Reverb stalked forward, his presence seeming huge, even though Cisco knew they were the same size, "What do you need to know?"

Cisco ran a nervous hand through his hair. He wanted to Vibe back. Return to his Earth. His timeline. But back there was just Barry, and not Dante. And he wasn't sure if he could ever reconcile that fact.

"Can you... can we change the timelines we can see?"

"To do what?"

"Bring back my brother." Cisco could feel his voice starting to shake, but he was determined to keep steady.

"You can't change the pasts that you can see... but you could take some life, and give it to Dante."

A life for a life.

 _Fuck it._

"How do I do it?"

Reverb smiled. It was terrifying, but Cisco was desperate.

"Funny, _Francisco_... I never thought you'd actually take this route. It's your life, by the way. That's the only one you can take from."

"How do you know that? You're alive, you can't have tried this."

"You don't die, Cisco. Only your soul does."

This put Reverb into a whole new light. It explained everything he couldn't understand about him. It explained why he had all the same powers, but he was better at using them. It explained why he was so empty. So cruel.

"Okay... How do I do it?"

"You give up."

* * *

Cisco burst out of the breach and staggered forward into his own timeline. Blood dripped from his nostril, but it wasn't gushing. How the hell was he not anemic at this point- not important. He fell to the ground... it was pavement. Looking around he saw he was in the parking lot at STAR labs.

"Give up..." he said out loud, trying to decipher what the fuck it meant.

Did he just have to become... Reverb? Or like him, at least? That seemed like what he was saying. So, okay... okay, okay, okay... gotta stop caring. Give up his ties to life, to humanity. Just embrace the world through its vibrations, and dismiss the emotional reality of it all.

Dismiss the years of believing his parents thought Dante was better than him. Dismiss the romantic rivalries with Dante through school. Dismiss the jealousy when he found that Barry had amazingly useful powers and his own were too abstract. Dismiss the longing to be with the someone love him like Caitlin loved Ronnie. To be with someone like Caitlin. To be with-

* * *

Barry stood in Cisco's workshop, taking in the horror he should've noticed earlier.

Notes upon notes on the natural vibrations of a beating, human heart. Of the inflation and deflation of lungs. Of the flow of blood. Cisco had been determining the vibrational patterns of human life.

The thought was a scary one, but what made it worse was the picture of Dante he had framed on his desk. It hadn't been there before. And now it was here, undisturbed amongst the otherwise messy workspace.

'Obsessing' was too harsh a word to use to describe how Cisco had been working. His brother had died, and he'd gone to work trying to figure out how to bring him back using his own powers. It was insane but not... not any different than what Barry had done after his father had been killed.

And what Barry had done... may have gotten Dante killed. So if Cisco was working toward the same type of goal Barry had worked toward... _shit_.

Barry burst through the lab, loose papers flying off tabletops as he passed. He was out the doors, planning on heading to Cisco's apartment when he slowed in the parking lot, finding Cisco was actually there.

There and bleeding again. _Shit, shit, shit._

"Cisco?"

He was on his feet, at least. That was a good thing, right?

Cisco turned around slowly, intentionally. His eyes looked dead. In a cold, low monotone he said,

" _Flash_."


	13. Chapter 13

*Very short chapter I know but I'm building up for the ending. SPOILERS mentions from 3x07.

* * *

Barry approached Cisco with caution, but he tried his hardest not to show it.

"Cisco, you okay? You're-"

"It's Vibe."

The last time Barry had heard that voice, he'd been getting his ass kicked by Reverb. Cisco's evil, Earth 2 doppelgänger. So it was safe to say Cisco was in trouble. Or, rather, Barry was.

"Cisco, you're tired, okay? You've barely slept in weeks..."

"Always us... isn't it, Flash?" Cisco drawled, pacing circles around Barry, "What was it you said to Caitlin... oh, that's right... you said she was 'sick'. Maybe she just wanted to be heard."

Barry shook his head, "No, no... Cisco, listen to me, you're not thinking straight, you're-"

"Sleep deprived? Paranoid? Being consumed by my powers? More like... embracing them. Letting myself be... the real me."

Cisco threw out a hand in Barry's direction and a ripple of vibrational energy sent him flying backwards across the parking lot. He scrambled to his feet,

"C'mon, man, you had your powers before, right? You don't have to hurt people to-"

"To be a god?!" Cisco's contained mask was slipping, but he quickly recovered it, "...There have been vengeful gods since the first faith practices... why else do you think they believed they were above them?"

"You don't have to be a god, Cisco... none of us are-"

"Like you?!" The even tone was rising, losing control, "You have followers, Flash! It's a goddamn sin to call you out when you're wrong! How about that for a god status? Maybe not a deserved one, but if any meta is being treated like a god around here, Barry Allen, it's you. And you..." Cisco chuckled darkly to himself, "You can't do what I can do."

* * *

H.R. was pulling up the road towards STAR labs when he saw Barry go flying across the parking lot. Stopping his car beneath the hill STAR labs perched on, H.R. scanned the lot for some meta that could- _shit. Cisco._

H.R. racked his brain, he couldn't call CCPD on Ramon. And Queen over in Starling City might hurt him... Snow. Caitlin just might be one of the only people who reach Cisco when he got upset- although this was way beyond that- and if need be, she could use her powers to stop him.

* * *

"Dante's dead because of you!" Cisco shouted, whipping vibrational bursts at Barry, "This is the only way I can bring him back!"

Barry attempted to strategize as he sped away from Cisco's blasts. _Okay, okay, okay._.. he just needed to get close enough to knock him out, or something because there was no way he could reason with him right now.

"What you kill me and Dante lives?! That doesn't make any sense, Cisco!"

"No!" Cisco fought every part of himself that was near breaking down, "I gotta give up my... me."

Barry made the dangerous mistake of slowing in front of Cisco, who sent him soaring across the lot again. This time, smashing into one of the lab vans. Slower to recover this time, Cisco was closing in-

"Cisco!"

He knew the voice. And giving up his earthly attachments seemed hard again. He couldn't do this to her. But Dante was dead. And that thought drove him to keep moving towards Barry.

"Cisco, stop!"

Cisco choked as tears he'd been trying to will away from his emotional capacity settled in his eyes. He turned to face her.

"Get outta here, Cait! I don't wanna hurt you!"

"I don't wanna hurt you, either." She said, an icicle grew in the palm of her hand, "Just come back to me, Cisco! Talk to me."

Cisco hesitated. He looked from Barry to Caitlin and shook his head.

"I'm sorry, Caitlin." He raised both hands, energy pulsing off of them as he turned back to Barry, "I've gotta save Dante."


	14. Chapter 14

*Sorry for the super long wait and the short as fuck chapter, I've been totally blanking on ideas but I'll try and wrap this up strong in the next chapter or so

* * *

Cisco allowed the vibrations to flow down his arms, building in his hands. He could feel the blast he was about to hit Barry with, and he wasn't sure that even a rapidly healing speedster could just bounce back from this one. And in his mind, he felt the human side of him screaming _that's Barry! He's your friend!_ But Vibe ignored it, reasoning, _he let Dante die._

Barry pushed himself up off his face, just in time to see Cisco aiming the blast right at him. About to hit him... when a frigid gust of wind whipped him sideways. The blast escaped Cisco's hands as Caitlin's arctic wind turned him away from Barry, and the result was Cisco sending himself flying across the parking lot. Caitlin was going after him in a second.

Creating pounds on pounds of soft slush and snow to cushion his fall, she thought, hell, maybe these powers weren't _absolutely_ deadly. Cisco slid across the top layers of snow, and scrambled to his feet, relatively unharmed.

"CAITLIN, I HAVE TO DO THIS!"

He was screaming at her. And it hurt to do it, but he needed her to understand...

"Cisco, hurting Barry is not gonna bring Dante back!"

"YES, IT WILL!"

Cisco slammed his palm into the pavement, sending a shockwave across the lot. Caitlin lost balance, collapsing into her own snow. Barry, who'd just gotten on his feet again, was caught in the wave, trying to speed away. His feet fumbled beneath him and he went down again. Picking himself up, he saw he was at Cisco's feet.

"If I can be... just like... Reverb... I can give my soul to Dante." Cisco said, regaining the even tone he was fighting to portray.

He wiped the blood from under his nose, and put a heavy foot on Barry's chest.

"I have to kill you... Flash. If I'm going to save Dante... this is the only way-"

"Are you-?!" Barry coughed. His breathing was restricted by the pressure on his chest but he continued despite that, "Are you using Harry Potter logic on this?! The only way to put your soul some... somewhere else... is to kill somebody?!"

Barry offered a weak smile. He'd hoped that joking with him, or referencing Harry Potter would reach Cisco. But he stared, dead-eyed at Barry, shaking his head.

He looked exhausted. But to the point that it looked like he'd given up.

"The only way to access my powers... is by letting go of this one world. I have to let go of this life... of friendships... of... you, Barry Allen."

An icy mist surrounded them. Barry rolled away from it and took off, as Cisco struggled to focus on Caitlin.

"Caitlin!" He directed another vibrational blast, this time at her, but she managed to dodge it.

"Cisco, please!" She called, taking cover behind one of the vans, "Dante is gone! Even if you could give him your soul, you wouldn't feel any better! You wouldn't feel anything!"

Cisco threw two more blasts at her and she ran to hide behind the half wall by the garage. Cisco staggered, clutching his head.

"Maybe I don't want to feel anything!" His voice was starting to break, "I need to do this!"

Caitlin started to stand up, and she saw Cisco preparing to blast her back. She channeled her own sense of heartbreak into an icy blast that would freeze him in his tracks.

Cisco went rigid, his muscles all tightening at the same time. His teeth chattered, body violently trembling, involuntarily. He fell backwards, and her heart leapt as his head only _just_ managed to land in the snow.

What would she have done if he'd hit his head on the asphalt? Any more pressure on his brain and- _stick an icicle through his head. Relieve the pressure._

Caitlin shook. Killer Frost had said that... not her. _But you are her, Caitlin._

She had to ignore it. Focus on her two hurt friends. Although, Barry was climbing back to his feet now. And with the classic gust of wind, he'd disappeared into the lab with Cisco.

* * *

"Cisco...? Can you hear me?"

Cisco was shaking. And it looked like he might be trying to sit up.

"Cisco, lay back, your body temperature is still way too low, and-"

Fighting his way upright, Cisco coughed out more blood as it started pouring from his nose again.

Caitlin was crying. She didn't mean to. She'd meant to keep on a brave face for Cisco. But the guilt of having done this to him, and to Barry was tearing her apart. Barry seemed to sense that, as he approached his friends.

"Caitlin-"

"I could've killed him, Barry!" Caitlin said, her voice shaking as she tucked the heat blanket around Cisco tighter.

Barry hesitated and then the rapid heart rate on Cisco's monitor caught his attention. Cisco's heart rate was rapid, definitely... but so was his breathing. That was the exact opposite of typical with hypothermia.

"Cait? Hold up a second..." he pointed out the reading, "I don't think this is hypothermia... Caitlin, HEY." She finally turned to look and he continued, "Look how fast he's breathing! I think this is blood loss!"

Caitlin paused, stunned.

"Hypovolemic shock... how could I not..." she was running to the storage fridge and pulled out two bags of O negative.


	15. Chapter 15

Wow, I know, I'm an asshole, it's been like 3 weeks since I updated this story that I was getting close to wrapping up. I just got busy with my new classes and shit like that but I'll try and update quicker for the last chapter or so!

* * *

When Cisco woke up, he was so, so, so, so, so goddamn tired. He wanted to just go back to sleep. But the terrifying realization that he didn't know what had happened sent a surge of adrenaline through his body. He blinked, and raised his arm to wipe the sweat off his forehead.

His hand raised slightly, he became aware of the IV in his arm. Glancing around, he assured himself: this is Caitlin's lab. STAR labs' own medbay.

 _Caitlin_.

Cisco had tried to Vibe Caitlin out of his way... She'd only been in his way because he was trying to kill Barry. To become Reverb. To save Dante.

None of that made any sense.

 _"Are you using Harry Potter logic on this?! The only way to put your soul somewhere else is to kill somebody?!"_

Barry had been right. What the hell was Cisco thinking?

 _Reverb told me_.

Reverb is dead.

 _Not in every timeline._

Well, fucking with timelines is what got Dante killed in the first place, isn't it?

Cisco felt his heart sink. There was actually nothing he could do, was there? No matter how powerful he got, no matter how many timelines he Vibed, it couldn't really change the fact that Dante was dead. Hit by a drunk driver.

Sure, it wasn't fair. Sure, it destroyed Cisco to know that Dante hadn't died in the original timeline. And sure, it seriously damaged Cisco's ability to maintain the same level of friendship he'd had before with Barry. But it was what it was. And him _or_ Barry trying to change it now was only gonna get somebody else hurt. He'd hurt Barry. He'd almost hurt Caitlin.

Caitlin who was struggling for control over her Killer Frost powers.

 _She was forced to use them because of you._

Cisco remembered how hard it had been to talk Caitlin off the ledge when she'd decided to embrace her powers. Use them, no matter how violent, to find Alchemy. To get his help to get rid of her powers. And now Cisco had forced her to use them again.

 _Vibe versus Killer Frost_.

Cisco gripped the sheet underneath him. He needed to stop thinking like that.

 _Stop thinking like what?_

Like that.

 _Like Reverb?_

Oh, fuck no. Cisco had enough power-related problems without throwing an uncontrollable internal dialogue into the mix. This felt like the hallucinations Savitar had forced on him all over again. _Hallucinations_.

 _You went to grad school, Cisco, use your fuckin' head. Hallucinations. Fatigue._

Blood loss?

 _You have an IV in your arm. You're in the lab. You almost definitely got a blood transfusion. Think again._

Sleep deprivation?

 _Bingo._

Cisco scrubbed at his face. He was so fucking tired. He'd been tired for weeks. Catching a couple hours of sleep here and there, but overall, not enough. That's what had started all of this. Barry's betrayal. Dante's death. That's when the Vibes had started. And not too long ago, they'd gotten worse. More frequent. More out of control.

He'd almost killed his best friend. And he'd almost hurt the girl he couldn't live without.

The guilt nestled in between the exhaustion and the emptiness that already had taken dominion over his mind. He needed to know they were okay. He needed to find them. He needed to apologize.

Sitting up turned out to be more difficult than Cisco had anticipated, but he managed it. He shifted himself in the bed, felt a tug on his arm. He glanced down at the IV and slipped it out of his arm. Definitely _not_ what he was supposed to do, but fuck if he was gonna stay in bed any longer. He swung his legs over the side of the bed, set his feet on the floor.

His legs felt shaky and weak, but they worked. He gripped the rail on the side of the bed and stood up. Unsteady? Yes. Felt like he might pass out again? Maybe. But Cisco needed to find his friends.

He was holding onto the rail of the bed frame until he reached the end of it. Then he grabbed onto the table that was situated against the wall. Grabbed the doorframe. He palmed his way across the wall, making his way out toward the Cortex.

"Cisco!" Barry had sped over, was holding him upright. Cisco would've liked to have gotten his apology in first but he appreciated the help nonetheless.

"Barry, I'm good." Cisco insisted, as Barry sat him down against the wall, "A little fucked up, but I'm okay, really."

Barry hesitated to respond. He had that look that Cisco had seen way too many times over the past few weeks. The face that said: I'm sorry about the timeline thing, but can we be okay again?

Cisco would never fully forgive Barry for it. Even knowing that Barry couldn't have known what would happen and that he was in a pretty bad place after his dad died. _You're still in a bad place since Dante died_. Cisco decided he'd have to try and ignore that. For both of their sakes.

"Barry... look, man,I'm sorry I almost killed you... I would never wanna do that, I just..." _you killed Dante_ , "I'm just really fucked up right now. I _am_ sorry, though."

"No, man, I should be the one who..." Barry trailed off, he sat down next to Cisco and said, "I'm sorry about Dante."

It struck Cisco that that was the first time Barry had actually said that. Not that he hadn't always meant it, or always felt it, he clearly had. But he'd never said it before.

"Yeah," Cisco said, staring off at nothing, "Me too."

* * *

When Caitlin had come around the corner, making her way back to check on Cisco and found them there, sitting in the hallway, every instinct told her to start yelling at them. But she didn't. She had stopped, a few yards down the hall, at the curvature of the wall, where they had first come into view. She couldn't yell at them. They were talking. Laughing. Like friends. Almost like they used to.

So instead she approached them, pursing her lips but still almost smiling at them and said, "Am I gonna be playing EMT for you guys forever?"

"You, being the only medically knowledgeable doctor at a lab that works with The Flash?" Cisco said, still smiling, "You bet, Dr. Snow."


	16. Chapter 16

*I know, extremely late, short last chapter with an open-ended ending, but... that's what I got. Sorry fam. Please review!

* * *

Caitlin had offered Cisco sedatives. Terrified, worried beyond even her own comprehension she told him, "you need to sleep, Cisco! This could kill you!"

Part of him didn't think that sounded so bad. But he could never tell her that. So instead he reassured her.

"Hey, I've survived like this this long, right, Cait?" He raised his arms in triumph like getting ten hours of sleep a week was substantial or even survivable.

He shrugged off the fact that his body wasn't totally shutting down on him from lack of sleep because he figured it was meta human related. I mean, Reverb had said he could be a god. Maybe gods don't need that much sleep.

* * *

Finally, Caitlin had had enough. She drove him home. She walked him up to his apartment. But she didn't leave.

She walked into his bedroom as comfortably as if it were her own.

"Cait, I'm a grown man, I don't need you to tuck me in." Cisco said rolling his eyes as he followed her.

"Well, apparently you're a grown man who can't be trusted to go to sleep on his own. So you're gonna lay in this bed with me while I get caught up on _Walking Dead._ "

Cisco raised his eyebrows at her.

"You really stuck with _Walking Dead_ after our marathon?"

"Well... yeah. But the past couple weeks I've been... busy, so I haven't seen the last couple episodes."

Cisco opened his mouth to argue and shut it again. Smiling. He kicked his shoes off, unzipped his hoodie and tossed it across the room, and climbed into bed, handing Caitlin the remote.

"Well, lucky for you, I've got this whole season on DVR."

Caitlin smirked and kicked off her own shoes, situating herself on the other side of the bed.

* * *

Two episodes in she found herself lying her head on Cisco's shoulder.

"Are you okay?"

Cisco blinked. About what? Was he physically okay? Was he Vibing right now? Was he hallucinating? About how he'd almost killed her and Barry? About Dante? He'd need her to clarify.

"About which thing?"

"Dante."

Cisco was silent for what he knew was too long to sound convincing when he said,

"...yeah."

"Cisco..."

"Caitlin, I get that he's gone. And that he's not coming back. That I can't keep Vibing him or trying to time travel through breaches. I know... you're worried I'm gonna pull another Reverb stunt and start opening up a shit ton of breaches and trying to change the timeline but..."

Cisco swallowed. It hurt, and his heart ached and all he wanted was for his powers to work. Like Barry's did. Like Wally's did. Like Jesse's did. Hell, even like Caitlin's did when Iris was in trouble. Cisco wanted his powers to be able to help people.

He just wished he could've saved Dante.

But he couldn't. And he knew that.

"I just... I miss him." Cisco's voice broke.

Caitlin's hand was on his face. Grounding. Comforting.

He leaned into her touch. He laid his hand on top of hers that was against his cheek. He met her eyes. And he toward her.

Their lips came together, hard and passionate. His top lip trailed down across her bottom lip as he pulled away.

They stared at each other, laughing nervously and he wrapped his arm around her, settling in to sleep.

* * *

The next morning, Cisco woke up from a restful, uninterrupted sleep. He swung his legs off his bed and looked back and found Caitlin still there. She was sound asleep, snuggled up against his Death Star pillow. He smiled to himself, almost blushing at the whole idea that Caitlin Snow was in his bed.

He went to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. Just as he pulled out the filters, an all too familiar voice came from near his front door.

"Cisco?"

He dropped the bag of filters.

"Dante?"

THE END.


End file.
